Jakey-boy

This video is from August of last year. Jake was about 9.5 months old.  He is opening and closing the birthday card Kevin received from his parents.  Enjoy!!

Romans 8:12-17

By God's grace today I memorized:

So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs - heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

Romans 8:9-11 and catching up!

It has been a while since I posted anything. My husband generously sent me away for the weekend with Megan Blacker.  I am so grateful for the time I had with my friend and the opportunity to spend it in such a nice place! 

While we were gone, I did manage to memorize 3 verses.  Romans 8:9-11 - 

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

I am very aware of my weakness today. For the last couple of days I have had difficulty remembering the verses I have already memorized. It is clear to me that my fuzzy mind is directly linked to sleepiness. I believe God is teaching me again to depend on Him. I am NEVER able to do this in my own strength, but sometimes I begin to forget it. These days have been reminders of HIS strength and might. Even as I type this I feel my eyelids getting heavy. I am weak in my own power. I am unable to accomplish much and weary from accomplishing little. 

Father, be my strength today. I feel distracted by the many things undone right now. Focus my mind on the things that matter today. Help me to choose wisely what I will do. Help me to remember what Kevin has laid out has priorities and to do those things first - for your glory and pleasure. Thank you for your abundant grace and mercy and kindness. Thank you for saving me! You are great and worthy to be praised!

Chloeisms

A little window into our world: Chloe, bringing me a tray of pretend cupcakes, "Mommy, would you like an organic cupcake?"  :-)

Chloe, squeezing a toy on my leg. 

Me: What are you doing?

Chloe: I'm making you little to go in a suitcase.

While spinning around and around...

"I'm gettin' busy! Gettin' busy!"

She was trying to say dizzy!

Chloe (she's very into shapes these days): I like pink squareses. 

Restaurant -  "Ressnont"

From 6 months ago:

Elephant -  "Elfalent"

After playing in the last snow of the year (I hope), Chloe cuddled up with Kevin (and Monk-monk) to get "wawm":

Notice, Chloe's monkey (Monk-monk) is sticking out of Kev's shirt.  I L.o.v.e these two!

Romans 8:1-8

I am thrilled to have begun chapter 8 today. Romans 8 is so rich! Be reminded of the great Gospel as you read the following verses:

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds of the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

Thanksgiving and Praise

Because of your love, I live. 

Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! I am free from the bondage of sin! God chose to redeem a people to call his own: because it pleased him to do so. He chose to give his Son, his only Son, to save a sinful, wretched people. His Son, Jesus, chose to lay his life down for the love of sinful men. Why? I would not have done it. I would not give my only son to save someone who hated and cursed me. I would not lay my life down for that person. But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. I am not worthy to be his child, his beloved. 

Thank you, Lord, for saving me! Thank you for making me new! Thank you for renewing my mind, for teaching me of your goodness and mercy and kindness. Thank you for allowing me to suffer that I would know you more. I have tasted a tiny portion of pain, yet even in that little bit, I can better understand Jesus, Man of Sorrows. He suffered and bled and died on my behalf. His suffering was great. Much greater than what any of us can suffer. He understands our pain, our tears, our hurt. 

Thank you for giving us your Word. It is man's greatest treasure on earth. The words of God written down can be written on our hearts. You tell us how to love you and others, how we can best serve you, how to have faith in you, how to walk in the light, how to trust in you alone, how you are our only hope, how heaven is our true home. 

Thank you for giving us the Spirit, the Helper. Thank you for comforting us, illuminating your Word, allowing us to sense your closeness, giving us biblical fellowship with other believers, giving us wisdom and insight into the lives of others, giving us gifts to be used to the glory of God. 

Thank you for being a loving Father. You love your children and pour out your mercy on us (even when we do not see it as mercy). 

Come Thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing Thy praise!

Romans 7:15-25

Today, I finished memorizing chapter 7! The Helper was generous this morning, giving me the time, focus, and desire to take on all 11 verses and complete chapter 7.

Today's verses:

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not what is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

Romans 7:7-14

Today, by God's grace, I memorized:

What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. For I would not have known what it is to covet if the law had not said, "You shall not covet." But sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, produced in me all kinds of covetousness. For apart from the law, sin lies dead. I was once alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin came alive and I died. The very commandment that promised life proved to be death to me. For sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, deceived me and through it killed me. So the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good. Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, producing death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure. For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin.

You're Crazy, Part 2

I said I would fill you in on what I am doing now (I think I was supposed to do it days ago...) regarding Scripture memory. If you don't know what I am talking about, then read this.

After I memorized Ephesians, I just hung out there for a while. The truth was I didn't think I had the capacity to put anything else in there... my mind that is. I wasn't trusting God and I was acting like it was my strength I needed. After Christmas, when things started to "slow down" a bit, I started thinking about memorizing again. In the midst of my consideration, we had the miscarriage. In his abundant kindness, God made clear my need of him. I was laid low and desperate for God to be near to me. I began praying about what he would have me memorize next. The following days were filled with Romans references and a decision was made. Romans. 

Are you serious! 

16 chapters! 

433 verses! 

Wow, Lord, you are serious about stretching me!

This time, I gave my self a much tighter deadline. With Ephesians, I figured out how long it would take - and then added a month! It was a good thing too, because I finished right on schedule! I am committed to finishing Romans by August 1st. I also decided to have a weekly goal rather than a daily one. I am aiming for 18 verse per week (rather than 3 verses/day, 6 days/week). It comes out the same, but I am doing longer portions at a time and taking more days "off". On most off days, I am still reciting the previous day's verses 10 times and then reciting the whole thing, from beginning to end. Yesterday was an "off" day, so I recited 6:19-23 10 times, then 1:1 through 6:23 once. 

I am continually amazed at God's kindness in this process. I have found my study of his word to be fruitful in ways I could not have imagined. I am filling my mind with HIS words, rather than my own. I am able to identify where many songs, sermons, sayings, etc. come from in Scripture. I can immediately support (in my mind or verbally) many statements that I hear others make. I find myself listening and reading more actively; measuring words of men against words of God. I have found my faith greatly strengthened. My trust in the Lord has increased. My love of him has increased. My love of his word has deepened and I now see it has vital to my life. These things are happening by the work of his Spirit! 

I believe that anyone - yes, anyone - can memorize long portions of Scripture. Why? Because God has told us in his word to hide his word in our hearts. He has provided a Helper to help us accomplish it. It is HIS work when we do it! 

Thank you, merciful Father, for giving us your word. By your Spirit, implant it in our hearts.

Romans 7:1-6

Another chapter began today. Wow. When I wrote the 7 on the paper this morning, I was filled with gratefulness and amazement. I have entered new territory. Now, can I keep the previous chapters in my mind...

Or do you not know, brothers - for I am speaking to those who know the law - that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man, she is not an adulteress. Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God. For while we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death. But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit and not in the old way of the written code.

Praise God! We belong to Christ! What joy there is in being his!

Update on Jake

The boy looks just fine after his big fall! His face is healed up and his head is getting there. On Saturday we went to Mikey's to help out around the house: cleaning, putting things on shelves, eating dinner, etc. After we had been there for a while, I finally decided to look down those stairs. I was shocked. I had forgotten just how dangerous they actually are. They are not as many as I remembered, but there is a concrete ledge on one side and the other side just opens up. There isn't a mid-rail - meaning that there is nothing to keep someone shorter than the top rail from falling off of the steps and on to the concrete floor below. He could have easily tumbled from the top step off of the stairs. Seeing them made me grateful again for God's protection. He kept Jake from a much more serious fall, from many serious injuries.

Thank you, Father, for protecting our little guy. Thank you for keeping his bones intact and his brain safe. Thank you for you for your many undeserved blessings!

Romans 6:19-23

This morning's memory work:

I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification. For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:12-18

I just finished memorizing this passage. What rich truth!

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness. But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.

Lord, help me obey righteousness today! By your Spirit, help me to be kind and gentle and forbearing rather than harsh and impatient. Thank you for bringing me from death to life!! You are a generous and merciful God, slow to anger and abounding in love!

Unveiling Grace

In light of the Big Meeting last night, I thought I would take this opportunity to unveil grace in Chloe's life. She is growing everyday - even in tiny ways. Yesterday, while I unloaded the dishwasher, I asked Chloe to finishing feeding Jake his breakfast. Now, yogurt isn't the easiest thing for anyone to feed a 16 month old, but seeing a 2.5 year old make the attempt! priceless!

Enjoy!

(Be sure to listen for Chloe's instructions to Jake when he doesn't seem want the bite she is offering.)

2 Months Ago

Two months today. That's when everything changed and everything stayed the same. I was just thinking this morning about how very big I would be right now if things were different. 

This afternoon, Jenn Dabb brought me a gift. She didn't know that today was 2 months later, but the project she had been working on for me was completed today. The timing was God's gift to me. 

When I found out that I was pregnant for the first time (before Chloe), my mom and my Aunt Debbie made a blanket for that little one... within a week of finding out! I love how excited these two women get about projects! They express their love creatively ALL the time. I can't tell you how many things have been created, altered, improved, repaired, etc. by these two women. To give appropriate credit, Debbie is the one who sews (an understatement for sure!). Mom provides invaluable help... and creative insight at times. When we lost that one at a little over 6 weeks, Mom and Debbie came to be with me - to mourn with me and to take me shopping (another way they care for me!). They gave me the blanket they had made - a little unsure if they should - and I have loved having it. 

Mom and Debbie made a blanket for this little one as well. This time, they stitched a heart into it:

The blocks were a Christmas gift from Kevin to Baby No. 3

Thank you, Mom and Debbie, for sewing up love for me. It blesses me to see this in our home. Chloe knows who it belongs to (and the blocks) and often tells people, "That is for our baby in heaven." Jenn, thank you for taking these amazing pictures. I am able to show everyone this gift and to honor my Mom and Debbie more effectively because you gave me so much of your time.

Father, thank you for your new mercies everyday. Thank you for your sovereign kindness. Thank you for bringing all of this together today so that I can remember your faithfulness in suffering.

Romans 6:5-11

Today I memorized:

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Romans 6:1-4

Today I began chapter 6!  If this were Ephesians I would be in the home stretch but I still have 10 chapters to go! By God's grace, I will make it. Today, I just chipped away with 4 verses memorized.

What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

My Little Tough Guy

I have the most amazing In-Laws. Rick and Joanie treat me like a daughter and Mikey really is like a brother (that makes three brothers for me - and still no sisters!) They adore our children and volunteer to babysit for them often - at least once a month, sometimes more than that. Rick and Joanie have made their home like a second home for our family, especially Chloe and Jake. The kids have bedrooms and playrooms and almost as many toys there as here! They would do anything for those kiddos. 

This weekend was one of those weekends. Rick picked the kids up on Friday afternoon. On Saturday, he took them to visit Uncle Mikey's very cool, very old house. (Mike is Kevin's younger brother by only 20 months.) While the kids were playing around, Jake took off running for a nearby door. He ran smack into it and banged on it with both hands - only the door wasn't latched so it flew open. That door leads to the retro-fitted basement stairs - too steep and slatted, leading to concrete floor below. To Rick's horror, Jake went head-long down those stairs. He tumbled all the way to the bottom. Rick ran after him and was at the bottom about the time Jake was, hitting his head on the floor above (you have to duck to miss it). Let me tell you something about my father-in-law. He is a tough guy. He was a fighter-fighter for many years and would give you the shirt off of his back. I am sure that he would have flung his own body down those stairs to prevent Jake from going if he could have. It just happened too fast. No one could have prevented it.  

Rick picked a scared and crying little boy up off of the floor and held him. It was only moments before Jake was over it and ready to play again! Rick said he was amazed at how little Jake cried. Rick looked him over carefully: checked his eyes, head, bones, reaction time, responsiveness, etc. Jake was fine. Nothing broken. He does have a HUGE knot on the right side of his forehead and a smaller one on the other side. Plus his nose is scraped up, his lip is cut and there is a pretty good scrape on The Big Knot. He has some other bruises and scrapes, but other than those relatively minor things, he is fine. Here are some pictures from Sunday morning:

if you look hard, you can make out the shape of The Big Knot

Poor little guy!

This one is really dark, but it shows more of the redness on

 his nose than the other pictures. He looked like Rudolph! You 

can also almost see The Big Knot - or the shadow of it!

When Rick told me what happened, my stomach turned over and over. Even today, if I imagine his tiny body going down those stairs, my stomach turns again. I'm grateful I wasn't there to see it. I think I would be unable to forget it. I have thanked God over and over again for protecting Jake that day. He could have been seriously injured. God mercifully kept his body safe. Thank you, Father, for your protection over my little tough guy. Really he is Your little guy, isn't he?

When I called my parents to let them know what happened and that Jake was fine, my dad said something that gave me cause for more thanksgiving. Dad told me that everyday he prays that God will protect my family and keep us safe. So, Saturday morning, he prayed that prayer, and Saturday afternoon, God responded by protecting Jacob from serious injury. He could have kept him from going down those stairs in the first place. (I wonder how many times he does.) But that was not his will. He could have allowed Jake to break bones, injure his brain, or worse. Would God still have been good and merciful and loving? Yes! God's character does not change with our circumstances. 

He is good because he IS good. 

His goodness is sure and true and steadfast.

Even so, I am grateful that I got to keep my little guy with all of his bones intact.

You're Crazy!

If one year ago, you had told me that I would memorize books of the Bible, I would have thought you were speaking to someone else (or that you were crazy). I didn't not consider it possible - not for me anyway. I had never memorized anything longer than just a few verses together. However, memorizing things comes easily for me. Kevin noticed it first (much to his amusement) in that I know all of the lyrics to a ridiculous number of soft rock songs from the early 90s... and to almost any song I have ever heard a few times. Next, and more significantly, I memorized many of the books I read to Chloe repeatedly. I wasn't trying, it just happened over time. My husband, wise man that he is, encouraged me to put that skill to work in more beneficial ways. 

The first longer passage of Scripture I memorized was Colossians 3 (which I have nearly forgotten now - not even a year later). I was inspired to do so when I came to chapter 8, How to Wield the Word in the Fight for Joy, in When I Don't Desire God. I utilized the method John Piper shares in that chapter (pg. 122).  I memorized one verse per day. I was amazed at the benefit I gained from having the whole chapter, rather than smaller portions. However, I did not, at the time, have a plan for retention. 

Months later, I was rearranging some things when I found An Approach to the Extended Memorization of  Scripture, by Andrew Davis, the pastor of FBC in Durham, NC.  I read through the little booklet quickly. (It was the very booklet Piper referenced in his book.) It seemed easy enough. I really liked that he addressed how to retain what you have already memorized. I decided that I could, perhaps, memorize an entire book. After all, Colossians is only 4 chapters and I had already memorized one of them. It wouldn't be too difficult to memorize the rest. I began to pray about it, something Andrew Davis recommended (seems obvious, doesn't it?). I sought Kevin's counsel (good move!). He recommended Ephesians for a number of reasons. One of those reasons was the up-coming series the pastors were preparing for our church. I prayed some more and felt God leading me to tackle Ephesians (a whopping 155 verses!). Suddenly, it didn't seem so easy. 

In his kindness, God did not allow me to start with the easiest thing. He brought me to a place of utter dependance on him. I realized that God wanted to stretch me. So, I set a goal for completion (September 6, 2008) and began memorizing 3 verses per day, six days per week. Even now, it seems crazy. By God's grace, I finished it on September 6th!

I was afraid to "move on" from Ephesians because I didn't want to lose it. I recited the entire book of Ephesians almost every day for 50 days after I finished memorizing it. Now, I recite it a couple times a week to retain it. Amazingly, I have it down better now than I did when I first memorized it. 

Tomorrow, I will tell you what I am doing now. (I bet you already know!)

Sleep and Refreshment

I was struck by the truth of this statement:

Oh, there is, in contemplating Christ, a balm for every wound; in musing on the Father, there is a quietus for every grief; and in the influence of the Holy Ghost, there in a balsam for every sore. Would you lose your sorrow? Would you drown your cares? Then go, plunge yourself in the Godhead's deepest sea; be lost in his immensity; and you shall come forth as from a couch of rest, refreshed and invigorated. (Spurgeon; quoted in Knowing God by JI Packer)

Sleep will not rest us as well as time with our Lord and Savior. Sleep will not refresh us like time studying God in his word. In our times of suffering, sleep alone will not bring healing.

I share this not as one who runs well on little sleep. I NEED sleep. I love sleep. My family can testify that I have loved sleep from early childhood. My mom says that I would regularly leave playtime to go into my room, crawl into bed and take a nap. She would find me fast asleep only moments after last checking on me playing. 

I run best on about 10 hours of sleep. I learned this in college when I tested as clinically sleep-deprived. I have fallen asleep while driving more than once. The Lord has preserved my life more than once as well. I used to cry when I was woken up in the night or when I couldn't go to sleep - even as an adult. Ask Kevin. I say all of this to share my clear weakness and humanity - I am worthless without sleep.

Then Chloe was born! I didn't know I could function on such little sleep! As a mom, I regularly function on approximately 6 hours of sleep. I am regularly woken up at all hours of the night. The amazing part is that God sustains me! He gives grace! He has used my sleep deprivation to reveal much sin that was lurking in my heart. It is much harder to hide sin when you can barely stay awake! Lacking sleep has been good for my soul. Difficult at times. But good.

In our recent heartache, I was tempted at times to just sleep when I was hurting. I found, however, that memorizing God's word was much more refreshing. Sleep is absolutely necessary to our bodies - a constant reminder that we are the creature rather than the Creator - but it does not refresh the soul.