Against the Wall

It finally happened. I have hit the wall. I have been trucking along memorizing Romans since January 12th with no breaks, no missed weeks.  Now things have slowed to a crawl. It is difficult again. I am tired and feel the weakness of my mind. I am trying to review but finding even that difficult these days.

I wrote the previous paragraph on April 1st. I have been intending to finish it ever since and have not found the time until now. 1:40AM on April 10th (Happy Birthday Christi!). The things I wrote before are still true a full 10 days later. I am still against that wall. I have stopped memorizing. I even stopped reviewing for about a week. I felt distracted and busy. I was choosing the lesser things over the important things. I was choosing the urgent over the eternal. I was not happy in this state, but I felt helpless to get out of it. I was still reciting Ephesians every couple of days, but I was not pressing in.  

In his kindness, God allowed Kevin and me to attend the Pastor's Conference this week (held at our church, Covenant Life). I was not allowed much time to wonder what happened and why Scripture memory was suddenly so difficult. I was spending much time with other believers, worshipping God and dwelling on HIM. We heard much incredible teaching on his Word. We sang songs of worship to our God and rejoiced in him. I came away with a deep love for God. I came away with an even greater passion for his Word. I am grateful for the difficulty for it has served to remind me that hiding Scripture in my heart is worth working for - worth fighting for. 

It is not easy. 

It is valuable. 

Mark Mitchell said this at dinner on Monday evening, What better way is there to spend our time on this earth than in memorizing God's Word?

I was encouraged and spurred on. I will press forward by the grace of God who alone is able to give ability and desire.