Romans 13:5-7

Praise God! 3 more verses down!

Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

Romans 13:2-4

I barely squeezed these in today! Praise God for helping me to do it even when I wanted to just do something else tonight. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness to me!

Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer.

The Gospel Song

Right now the kids are having playtime in their beds. I heard Chloe singing the Gospel Song. So sweet to hear those words coming from her mouth! Then I heard, "Jake, can you sing it with me, bud?" She began the song again, attempting to teach Jake the words. This is one of those moments I want to remember. I pray that the words of that song will be real to their hearts someday!

The Gospel Song (by Sovereign Grace Music):

Holy God in love became

Perfect man to bear my blame

On the cross he took my sin

By his death I live again.

Romans 13:1

Chapter 13 begins today! Yippee!

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.

Romans 12:19-21

By the grace of God and by His help I finished chapter 12 today!! Praise God!!

Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:14-18

Today's memory work:

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Oh Lord! May these words penetrate my heart and work there.

Romans 12:9-10 and 11-13

I memorized, but forgot to post, verses 9 and 10 on Friday:

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Today I memorized 11-13:

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Romans 12:6-8

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Praise God for the time and desire and ability to memorize this morning! I love this passage. It clearly displays that our differences are God-given and necessary for the body of Christ to function properly. Just as my body cannot be all eyes, but needs each member to perform its own function, the body of Christ cannot be all teachers or all contributors; there must necessarily be servers and exhorters and merciful ones. How beautiful is God's plan!

VEIP Test and MVA

I'm not sure why I feel like sharing this; maybe I just can't believe I did this today! I left the house intending to get the Maryland Vehicle Emissions Test done. We have had approximately 7 months to get it done. Today was the last day. Yes, I waited until the very last possible moment.

I was braced for a DMV (know here as the MVA) type experience. Well, much to my excitement, the whole process took less than 5 minutes!! Wow! I didn't even have to get the kids out of the car! Amazing!

With this amazing feeling inside, I headed home. Since I had been so successful in so little time, I asked myself if there was anything else I'd been putting off that I could get done. Yes! I could go and get my license! I lost it months ago so why not?

So, I entered an actual DMV/MVA experience. I was prepared with "special drawing things", as Chloe refers to them. These are the ColorWonder books and markers. The markers only draw on the special paper. We discovered this on our very long family vacation. We only pull them out when they are absolutely necessary. It has been at least a month since Chloe got to use them and I've never let Jake. We walked in at nearly 11am. Hum, almost lunch time. Not a good start.

The place was slammed! We were there for right at 2 hours. Yikes! I didn't have lunches packed or even any snacks with me. Oops. However, the kids did very well, especially Chloe. She didn't complain at all and colored constantly. Jake was less impressed with the markers and was pretty much done with them by the time we got seated and began the longest part of the wait. He broke down and wailed at 2 different points, but with a little entertainment from Mom, he was calmed down. Overall, I was pleased with the time. It certainly wasn't boring!

So, that is the story of how I braved 2 long-put-off tasks in one day and was triumphant! Praise God for his mercies! He sustained us through what could have gone very differently!

I can't wait to tell Kevin what I got done!

Romans 12:4-5

This morning's memory work:

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

Lord, thank you for helping me to hide your word in my heart! Increase my capacity to remember for your glory!

Romans 12:3

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

Praise God! New mercies, another day, another verse hidden!

Anger and Laziness

Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while or who know me very well know that I am an angry person. Typically, Chloe and Jake get front row seats to my ungodly display of anger and it is, sadly, directed at them. Some of you (Kevin, my brothers and parents, and some friends from childhood and youth) have experience my anger first hand, but most of you have had to take my word for it. Trust me, it is there. It is nothing new to me now. I know it is there. I will never grow past needing God's help in the area of anger.

Yesterday morning, God opened my eyes to a previously unknown sin. It has been there a long time, I just didn't have eyes to see it. "The heart is deceitful above all things"; I have certainly been deceived, or, perhaps, unwilling to see the depths of my sinfulness.

I am lazy. I didn't know I was lazy because I am also busy. I keep myself busy with less important things to avoid doing what is important. I can see this pattern throughout my life. I have apparently been lazy for a very long time. In different seasons this laziness has expressed itself in avoiding the following things: studying, doing homework, cleaning my room, spending time with God (I am most regretful of this one), making a phone call, taking care of paperwork, etc. I avoid whatever task seems unappealing at the time, and I keep busy with something easier or less unpleasant. In other words, I procrastinate. I do not decide I will not complete a certain task in a given day, I just keep putting it off, little by little, until it cannot be done that day. I don't realize that I am doing it, but I feel a low-grade guilt the whole time.

In my current season of life, my laziness and procrastination find expression in avoiding housework. The dishes ALWAYS need to be done; the counter is in constant disarray. Realizing that I'm just going to have to do it again, and again, and again has made these tasks unpleasant to me. They are not difficult. It is just that I'm tired and don't WANT to do them. (LAZY). So, they go undone. Nevermind God's calling on my life as a homemaker. They will get done. Just not right now.

This has been my approach, particularly in the last several weeks/months (maybe Kevin would say this has always been my approach; I'll have to ask him). As Kevin entered PC, I sought to pull myself up by my bootstraps and just get it all done. I know that it blesses Kevin (all of us, really) when the house is neat and the dishes put away. Our home feels restful and conducive to both study and communion with God. I know this and thought I could "just do it".

I cannot.

I am a wicked sinner to my core and prefer ease to blessing my husband. I didn't see this clearly because I wasn't sitting on the couch watching soap operas. I have been busy. Busy doing things that aren't as important. They seem urgent, sometimes they are, but that doesn't make them important.

So, how did I come to this profound discovery about myself and the condition of my heart? By God's grace, he provided an article, or more accurately, a print out of a series of blog posts that CJ Mahaney did called, "Biblical Productivity". As I read, I knew it applied to me. The next morning as I spent time with God, he opened my eyes to the reality of the sin in my heart and brought sweet conviction. How kind of God to reveal this sin to me! He was not content to let me stay in that place but is beginning to bring me out of it. It is also his kindness not to overwhelm me. He could have revealed this a couple of years ago at the same time he revealed anger, but he patiently waited. He is so tender in his correction and gentle in his care for me. I pray that I will learn from his example and be as tender and gentle with my children who have far less that needs correction than I have.

Now that you know, please feel free to ask me about this area. I need grace and help from others. I cannot see my sin clearly and welcome your eyes.

Romans 12:2

What a joy to hide his word in my heart in the morning! That you, Father, for the ability and desire to do so.

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:1

Praise God from whom all blessings flow! I began memorizing chapter 12 and what a sweet beginning:

Romans 12:1

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

Romans 11:25-36

By God's mercy and help I finally completed memorizing chapter 11! I just looked back and saw that I have been working on chapter 11 since May 21st! Whoa! I memorized chapters 1 through 10 from Jan. 12 through May 20, just over 4 months for 10 chapters (only by HIS great help!). Then, I got stuck. It has taken well over 3 months to complete this one chapter. Clearly, I cannot do this in my own strength. I have been chipping away at it slowly over the last 2 weeks or so. I plan to get back to posting as I memorize, we'll see if that actually happens!

Romans 11:25-36

Lest you be wise in your own sight, I want you to understand this mystery, brothers: a partial hardening has come upon Israel, until the fullness of the Gentiles has come in. And in this way all Israel will be saved, as it is written, "The Deliverer will come from Zion, he will banish ungodliness from Jacob"; "and this will be my covenant with them when I take away their sins." As regards the gospel, they are enemies of God for your sake. But as regards election, they are beloved for the sake of their forefathers. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. For just as you were at one time disobedient to God but now have received mercy because of their disobedience, so they too have now been disobedient in order that by the mercy shown to you they also may now receive mercy. For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all. Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! "For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?" For from him and to him and through him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

O merciful Father! Thank you for the gift of your Word! It is precious to me! Thank you for allowing me to finish this chapter. Continue to help me hide your word in my heart. I feel my weakness and inability to take on the last 5 chapters. I can and will only do it if you will help me! I will not move forward in my own strength! I need you! Please help me by your Spirit and for YOUR glory alone! Amen.

And now, right now, I will go and begin working on chapter 12! Praise God!

I wanted to take a moment to introduce you to our church and the PC rooms. I got these images from our new friends', the Tregs, blog. They actually thought of taking pictures of these things for people back home. This has never occurred to me.

So, if you've never seen our church, there it is!

This is the PC classroom where my husband and 16 others will spend many, many hours this year.

Kevin will spend lots of time studying and reading and praying and studying and writing and reading and praying and learning, here. This is the PC library. I foresee Kevin sitting in that chair.

A lot.

Notice the books. There are many more on the other side of the room. It is well stocked. Kevin will love it here. He loves books.

Last, but certainly not least, the PC breakroom. There is a constant flow of coffee out of this room. My husband will certainly partake. Apparently, there is also a pretty steady stream of goodies.

Anyway, just a glimpse of where Kevin will be "doing life" for the next 9 months or so!

Hair

She was playing quietly. I could hear her talking softly to someone or herself. Then I heard crying. I asked, through her closed door, are you okay? She responded, "I sprayed my eyes!" I immediately opened the door, knowing she had gotten out the de-tangler for kids I use on her hair when I put it in pigtails. I was tempted to give her a stern speech about not using that stuff. I began with, "Chloe, you may not get out that spray." She said, in a tiny little voice, "but I wanted to make my hair pretty for you." I, of course, melted. I knelt down beside her and said, "Chlo, you can't use it by yourself." She comes back with, "But it says to use it by yourself." I laughed. She is still rubbing her eyes with soaked hands. I now realize that she is drenched in the stuff! We went to the bathroom to get a washcloth and wipe away tears and product. She was concerned that I not wipe too much off. I noticed various clips in her hair. She had certainly made an effort! I wish I had pictures!

One of those days.

Today is one of those days.

I use this phrase too often. It typically means I am tempted or have been surviving a difficult day.

Today is one those days...

I feel the joy of mothering; there is peace in my house.

What made the difference between this morning and the last?

Maybe it was the fresh reminder of the Gospel I received last night.

Yesterday, I took the kids to the store and through a variety of circumstances (Besty Ricucci would call these providences) I found myself very angry at one of my children; sadly, not an unusual situation. I stood there, in the middle of the grocery store, fighting for faith. I stood still for several minutes trying to decide what to do. I left very aware of my anger and sinfulness. Questions raced through my mind even as I tried to take them captive, "Why do I still get so angry?" "Will I always respond in anger?" I saw little hope for change, though (by God's grace alone) I was aware that my status before the Lord was/is secure in Jesus.

The rest of the day was fine; not joy-filled, but fine.

Last night we had our first Mahaney Meeting. Each month we have the privilege of meeting with CJ and Carolyn Mahaney for 2 plus hours. This generous usage of their time has already proven life-changing for me. In typical CJ-fashion, we were freshly reminded of the gospel. The gospel oozes from CJ's pores. He is saturated in it and seems to be always affected as he speaks of what Christ has done for him, for us. So, in light of the exhortation to remember the gospel, this morning I read through "A Gospel Primer". I was deeply moved as I reflected on and rehearsed God's grace to me. This line in particular, was affecting for me, "No wrath is awakened in God at my sin, because Christ appeased it..."

No wrath.

No wrath because

Christ appeased it.

He took it.

He bore it in full brunt on that Tree.

I do not deserve this great salvation. I don't deserve it "on my holiest day", much less any other sin-filled day. I am never, could not ever be, worthy of this great love and mercy.

6 years.

This is the official first class. Kevin has already had more reading to do, in one week, than I usually get to in a month or more. He is proving his ability to walk the line of diligence in study and faithfulness to his family. This weekend provided quite the training ground because...

Our 6th anniversary was on Sunday! 6 years! Wow...

My husband blessed me in numerous ways, but my favorite was the note he wrote and gave to me (along with the one dozen GORGEOUS white roses - seriously, I've never seen more beautiful, perfect roses). He has a way with words.

He lavished me with other gifts including an amazing Le Creuset enameled cast-iron skillet. I picked it up today (he ordered it from their outlet) and can't wait to put it to use tonight for my Beloved's dinner...pork chops...yum! He also took me on a shopping spree meant to bless me because I enjoy shopping; I must say, though, it is less fun with children. Kevin took the full brunt of the complaining and arguing so that I could enjoy myself. What sacrificial love!

He took me to dinner at my favorite restaurant: Tower Oaks Lodge. I L.O.V.E. eating there! My favorite part of the evening was watching Kevin dive into his dinner! I've never seen him get so lost in a meal before! Usually we discuss flavors and textures and delight over each bite. Last night, he was speechless. He just zoned out of reality for about 5 minutes. I was delighted to see him enjoying it that thoroughly!

All of this to say, my Beloved blessed me a great deal this weekend. He was thoughtful and generous and lavish in his affection. He joyfully gave me his time, though he certainly had much to do. His desire was to have his reading completed by today, but sacrificed that desire to bless me. I cannot help praising God for giving me to this man. God brought us together and held us together through a season that seemed too dark to ever end. Ours was the marriage that nearly wasn't. But, by God's abundant grace he saw us through and united us on August 30, 2003. We have only grown closer and more in love since that day. This has been coursing through my mind over the past few days: Praise God from whom all blessings flow!" It is the cry of my heart as I reflect back on the past 6, grace-filled years.