Baby No. 3 - One Week Later

Today has been pretty "normal".  Right now my children are in their rooms; Jake sleeping, Chloe playing.  We have sorted through Christmas toys and picked new favorites.  We are trying to get back on a schedule after holidays and heartache.  Yesterday was a week since we found out that our 3rd little one's heart had stopped beating.  We had an appointment for a routine check-up and I was 12.5 weeks pregnant.  Kevin, Chloe and I saw the ultrasound: a tiny baby, not moving.  It was crushing news.  A wave of sadness and tears poured over me and out of me.  Kevin cared for both of his girls at that moment.  I was not totally surprised.  God, in his kindness, had begun to prepare my heart in the three days before the appointment.  I had some light spotting and when I weighed myself on Monday morning (it is better not to be surprised at the weight gained when pregnant!) I found that I had lost weight.  (Those of you who have known me through my previous pregnancies know that I do not lose weight, I gain it like crazy!)  I had a feeling in my heart that things were not well.  The doctor, nurse, and ultrasound tech were tremendously compassionate.  

I have thought much of our little one lately.  We had already made plans and dreamed dreams for this tiny addition to our family.  It is hard for me to imagine my little ones in heaven.  We have two children there already.  Kevin and I lost our first baby before Chloe was born when I was 6 weeks pregnant.  Thinking of this lately makes me long for heaven and home.  

Just now, Chloe interrupted my writing by calling me to her room so that I could see what she "put on myself!"  This is what I found!

What a joy she is, my funny girl!  She and her brother are constant reminders of God's grace to us.  They bring much laughter into our home, even in the face of suffering.  Praise God who has poured out abundant mercy and grace into our lives!