Ashes

Today feels like ashes. I was angry and harsh and impatient. Where was the truth I so recently memorized? I am so quick to forget God's word, his instructions for my day.  "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you." Eph. 4:32 "...walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love" Eph. 4:1-2  These words are memorized. Are they penetrating? Where was my kindness to my daughter? Where was my gentleness? How quickly I forget what is important! The messes she makes in our home are nothing to the messes I make in her heart. Her disobedience is serious, but my angry response is grievous before the Lord. It isn't important that Chloe do perfectly what I have asked and as fast as I would be able to do it. It is important that I patiently guide her and lovingly instruct her. Not for my sake or convenience, but for her good. 

At the end of the day, I kiss her sweet face and tuck her into bed. She is the picture of unconditional love. No hard feeling are found in her. She loves me even in the midst of my anger. She wants me to comfort her even when it is I who've made her cry. To forgive so freely, so completely! It is a gift. So, tomorrow I will rest in the new mercies poured out by God and I will depend on him. Even as I fail, I will remember his grace. "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood to be received by faith." Jesus paid it all.  His blood covers my anger, impatience, unkindness, etc.  Praise God from whom all blessing flow! It is a blessing to begin again tomorrow trusting in his grace.